The noise of the crowd is thunderous! It reverberates throughout the apartment! John leaps into the air in slow-motion, shouting, "MCQ goes up for the spike!"
Also in ABC Super Slo-Mo, Dana leaps up to confront him! "But NO! Dana is there for the block and John's shot is roofed out!" he yells over the crowd noise!
Jim dives at the ground, and goes for the "air dig", also providing his own color-commentary! "But Big Jim is there and JUST MISSES THE SAVE!"
They all three yell, "And the sell-out crowd goes wild!" Accordingly, the crowd noise surges up to ear-shattering levels!
Somehow, through it all, Lori hears the phone ring. She gets up off the couch and goes to answer it. She yells at the guys to shut off the noise so she can hear. She has to yell several times.
Finally, Dana goes over to the stereo and hits Eject on the CD player. The rolling crowd noise stops, as if by magic, as the silvery disk is spit out. "This one's GREAT!" he says.
"Which one is it?" John asks.
"Madison Square Garden." Dana replies.
"It is powerfully cool." John says, doing an "air serve".
"You ought to hear the Houston Astrodome. It is incredible!" Jim says.
John asks, "Do you have a copy?"
"I used to keep one next to my bed." Jim replies.
John sort of stares at Jim. Dana breaks up and falls to the floor, laughing.
Jim's face reddens. "Oh, JUST fucking get OFF me," he says.
Lori is still on the phone. The guys sit down on the couch, toweling off, drinking Gatorade, and listening to the "air coach" pass out strategy for game 4 of the AIR VOLLEYBALL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH.
Lori puts down the phone. She has a very serious expression on her face.
John becomes apprehensive. "Babe?"
"Shut up," she replies, quickly.
The guys exchange looks.
Lori says, "Listen."
"To what?" asks Jim.
"Shut up!" she replies.
Jim cowers down on the couch.
"Wow," says Dana. "Where did THAT shit come from?"
Lori says, in a small voice, "Slasher flick."
"NO FUCKING WAY!" says Jim.
John asks, "How do you know?"
"That was Troll, on the phone. Somebody already got Dave. We're supposed to meet them at CERL, right away."
"JESUS CHRIST!" the guys holler.
"Troll's calling him next." says Lori.
BLuR sits on the couch, in his bathrobe. He is locked in mortal combat with Dan's computer. The phone rings six times before he notices it. He regretfully pulls a fraction of his attention away from the screen and fumbles for the receiver.
"YO?" he says. "Not a whole hell of a lot. I'm just sittin here, mindin' my own bid-ness, being a gam0r. Wassup wit'choo? No, I haven't been listening. I've been . . . YES! WISE MEN DISCOVER THE SECRET OF DRIVE-THRU RESTAURANTS!"
Dropping the phone, BLuR jumps up and begins "dancing" around the living room. After a few minutes, he collapses back onto the couch and begins playing again. It is several minutes more before he remembers to pick up the handset.
"Sorry, Dude. Got a little bit carried away, there. Wassup? Yeah, Dan's here. He's in his room wit' Zuki. He said they were gonna pack the car. No, I'm pretty sure the car is still in the driveway. No, now that you mention it, I don't think they're planning on going anywhere. I have been hearing some pretty weird noises from there, lately. Maybe they're . . . YES! WISEMEN DISCOVER MTV! BONUS!"
BLuR leaps up and begins slam-dancing. He ricochets around the living room, doing massive amounts of damage. Eventually, the phone starts in with that cool Hang-up-the-fucking-phone-you-moron BEEP-BEEP-BEEPing. This distracts him long enough to hang it up. It rings again, just as he puts it down. He picks it back up again.
"YO? Troll! What a coincidence! I was just talking to you! What's on your mind, Dude?"
As he listens to Troll, BLuR gets serious.
Finally, he shouts, "RIGHT! Be there in FIVE minutes! Hang on!" He slams down the phone and begins furiously scaling the almost-blocked stairs to his room, shouting his head off the whole time.
"DAN! DAN! LOOK OUT! DANGER! DANGER!" (He stops climbing for a moment, and waves his arms around like Robby The Robot.)
"FIND WEAPONS! DAN!"
Finally, he makes it to the summit of the clogged stairs, and can be heard rolling and crashing around in his room.
Dan's living room door opens. Dan's head appears. He looks a little bleary-eyed. He surveys the wreckage, looking for anything unusual to explain why BLuR seems to have gone nuts. He calls out, "WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?" but cannot make himself heard over BLuR's own racket.
Dan's head disappears back into his room. A moment later, all of Dan shows up, wearing his bathrobe. He closes the door behind him.
Just then, BLuR tumbles down the stairs and lands with a crash at the bottom. He is dressed from head to toe in his paintball cammos. He carries his paintball gun and several billion rounds of spare ammo.
Before BLuR can get his breath, Dan takes charge of the conversation. "What the FUCK is going on?" he inquires.
"DANGER! DANGER! SLASHER FLICK! DANGER!" BLuR answers, trying desperately to untangle himself from his many ammo belts.
"What the hell are you talking about? What slasher flick?"
"DANGER! GET READY! DANGER!"
Realizing the futility of it all, Dan wanders into the kitchen and gets a pitcher of cold water. He returns to the wildly gyrating BLuR and douses him.
"DUDE! Most bogus!" BLuR declares.
"Now what in the fuck is going on?" Dan asks.
"Slasher flick! Dave's dead! At CERL! We're supposed to go there, NOW! DANGER! Troll's calling everybody! Get dressed! Arm yourself!"
"Dude," says the Son of God. He goes back to his room.
"Uh, Dan? Help? Dan? This isn't funny!"
"DIE, YOU SCUM-SUCKING BASTARDS!" Mez shouts. He fires another blast from his cannon. Sweat is running into his eyes. He gives an incoherent scream, and fires again. "GABE!" he yells. "I'm almost out of ammo! HURRY!"
The front door of the house opens, and Gabe staggers out, carrying a large, metal drum. The drum bears many grim-looking warning labels and a prominent death's head. He puts the ominous container down, and begins rolling it around to the front of the porch, where Mez is standing with the hose.
Gabe says, "This is the last of the Agent Orange! Make it count, Man!"
Mez loads up the new barrel and begins attacking the rapidly encroaching forest with renewed intensity. Gabe goes around to the other end of the porch, and engages in melee combat, wielding an electric hedge-trimmer. "BACK! BACK!" he commands.
The battle rages on. The waves of marauding vegetation surge forward again and again, only to be beaten back by the determined defenders.
Suddenly, Gabe's trimmer jams! He calls out to Mez for help! "FALL BACK!" Mez yells. "I'LL COVER YOU!"
Dragging the half-full barrel of defoliant with them, our heroes make the cover of the doorway, moments ahead of a kamikazee attack by a pack of drug-crazed kudzu!
Gabe and Mez collapse against the closed door, gasping. The phone rings. They look at each other. Gabe pulls out a quarter, and flips it into the air. Mez calls heads and loses. He groans and crawls toward the phone.
Gabe rests his head against the door, listening to Mez pick up the phone.
"Hello? Oh, Hi, Troll. Not much, we're just doing a little gardening. What's up? Say what? He's DEAD?"
Gabe opens his eyes, and listens more closely.
"When did this happen? Do you know who did it? Are you sure? No, we've been too busy to hear the soundtrack."
Gabe, alarmed, stumbles to his feet and stares at Mez.
"Yeah, OK. We'll be there."
Mez hangs up, and stands, staring at the phone.
Gabe is impatient. "Well? What the fuck?"
Mez looks at him, then looks out the window, at the greenery. He looks back to Gabe and says, "Do you think we can make it to the car?"