Troll walks rapidly into the ops office. He darts into the corner, by the coat rack, and quickly surveys the room. Dave sits at the desk, puzzled, watching Troll.
After a few minutes, Troll seems to relax a bit. He says, "Hi, Dave. Wassup?"
Dave stares at Troll for a while, then says, "Hi, Troll."
Troll, still glancing nervously around the office, says, "You, uh, haven't heard anything weird lately, have you?"
Dave says, "Huh?"
Troll says, "Well, you know how when you're just out walking around having a good time, you sort of hear this nice, bouncy, 'walking-around' kind of music?"
Dave says, "What?"
Troll goes on, "Well, I was just now walking through campus, when the music kind of changed on me. It became much more monotonous, and sort of foreboding. Have you noticed anything like that?
Dave cups his hand to his ear and cocks his head at Troll. "Say what?" he says.
Troll hollers, "HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING WEIRD, LATELY?!"
Dave says, "Hang on, Dude." He digs into his pocket and comes up with a torn and crumpled piece of purple cardstock. It is a ticket stub from last night's Eärdrümz concert, at Krannert. Dave explains, "I still can't hear a thing, Dude."
Troll looks down at the ticket stub, up at Dave, back down at the ticket stub, and says, "Nevermind."
"What?"
By means of an elaborate game of charades, Troll conveys the idea that he would like to use the PLATO V to run his sequencer. Since Dave was only using it to wish the entire universe a happy birthday anyway, he agrees. Troll pushes through the swinging door, and sits down.
Twenty minutes pass. Troll is reading his notes, and Dave is sketching five-dimensional designs in the air with a magic marker. Every once in a while, Troll quickly looks over his shoulder.
Troll finishes his sequencer, and leans back. He looks around. His eyes finally alight on Dave's shirt. He stares at it blankly for a while, thinking, "That's funny, I thought bullseyes were out of style."
Slowly, a look of concern comes over Troll's face. He says, "Nice shirt, Dude." Dave ignores him.
Troll stares at Dave for a while longer, then he shakes his head and says, "Nah, can't be." He decides to play some Crypt.
Suddenly there is the sound of running footsteps from the hallway. Brad bursts into the office, slams the door shut, locks it, pulls the blind, and puts up the "Operator is Out of the Country" sign. He plants his back against the door and shrieks, "WHO'S MESSING AROUND WITH THE FUCKING SOUNDTRACK?!"
Troll glances up from his latest Pitiful Warrior, and casually says, "Hey, Dude. Didn't you go to the concert, too?"
Brad gives Troll one of those "Tangent Alert" looks, and says "WHAT?!"
Dave is picking himself up from the floor, furious at being knocked out of his chair by the force of Brad's entrance. He says, "Dude . . . Like, what the fuck?"
Brad says, "Somebody's fooling around with the goddamned soundtrack!"
Dave says, "Huh?"
Brad says, "Somebody's fooling around with the fucking soundtrack!"
Dave says, "What?"
Brad is about to use a more direct means of communication, when Troll gets his attention. Troll begins playing air guitar, and air banging-your-head-against-a-very-solid-brick-wall.
A little light goes off in Brad's head. He says, "Oh, THAT concert!"
Dave says, "What?"
Brad says, "Dave . . . Shut the fuck up."
Dave says, "Oh, OK."
Brad pushes through the swinging door, and confronts Troll. "You can hear it, can't you? Or have you been cranking your James Taylor on the headphones again?"
"Yeah, I hear it."
" . . . And?!?"
"Look, there's no reason to panic . . . "
"NO REASON TO PANIC!?! You KNOW what happened the LAST time the soundtrack changed! We went from 'Animal House' to 'Enter the Ninja'! I'm NOT doing that again!"
"Relax, this doesn't sound like a ninja-type soundtrack. Calm down."
Dave gets up from his chair, mumbles something about a deadstart, and goes out the door, closing it behind him.
"How can you be calm at a time like this?"
"Look, at least it's not kiddie-comedy music. Remember the Carebears?"
Brad shivers violently, "I'm trying to FORGET about that, thank you very much. So what kind of soundtrack is it? It seems rather . . . ominous."
"Political documentary?" Troll ventures.
"Shut the fuck up."
"It was just a suggestion."
They sit, listening to the soundtrack.
Brad says, "It's getting more intense."
Troll nods his head in agreement.
Brad says, "Christ, it sounds like a cross between 'Jaws' and 'Aliens III'."
Troll looks around the office, and says, "Um, where's Dave?"
The soundtrack suddenly comes to a towering crescendo and, just as suddenly, fades away again.
"Oh, shit."
"Dave?"
"Oh, SHIT!"
"I hate it when this happens."